It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river that’s so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
Empty; I have this vast feeling of emptiness in my soul recently. It’s like a part of me is missing, and I need to find it. I have read this book that tells you everything that you think will come to you. Think bad and bad will come; the universe doesn’t know that it’s bad; it sends you anything you are thinking. For example: I hope the car doesn’t break down, all the universe hears is: I hope the car breaks down.
You need to send out as well as think good things and good things will follow. But it’s so hard to think good thoughts when bad things are happing. It’s so hard to keep your chin up when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I haven’t painted anything in over a month; I have had my camera out but haven’t really used it. This emptiness is starting to consume me. Starting to get into my head and devour me alive. So how do I come back from this? How do I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel again?

I need is a divan intervention! I need to be showered with his love and be consumed by it. I want to be filled with love and a fullness I have never felt before. I read about the things unconditional love can do, I read about it all the time, but have never felt it for my own. I have tried but I don’t know how to do this. I can’t do this on my own any more.
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
I haven’t done this before so I don’t know if I am doing it right. All I can do is pray and hope that someone hears me and will help guide me though. I listened to a song yesterday when reading my favourite blog, which made me want that feeling so much. I want to be the tree that’s bends beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. I need to be saved from this road I am on, I need help more now than I have ever known…

2 comments:

  1. oh girl you sound so down. i hate to hear that pain in your writing. life can be hard at times...try not to get discouraged and think it will never change. start a list with me about the things that make you happy. the things that you love and you will feel that unconditional love from the Lord because you'll realize that all those things are from Him and that He loves you SO MUCH! do it with me. it will be life changing.

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  2. Absolutely beautiful. Couldnt have said any of this better myyself! <3 -Tara

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