i'm letting go

Do you ever have those days where nothing and I mean nothing goes the way that you have planned? You just want to cry and stomp your feet like you did when you were a child. Well I have had many of those day but I have never until the other day thought to myself why…?

Why I am I acting like a child and having these thoughts… Life is not as bad as you are acting right now. Well I had one of these moments the other day, while I was crying over something that seemed so wrong.

On Thursday I went to take my driver test to get my license and was unable to. I was told some wrong information and found it out to late. She proceeded to tell me that I needed another class before I can take my test. Well that doesn’t seem so bad but I practiced all the night before for the test, so I was just very frustrated. My eyes began to swell up with water and I could hardly talk for fear of crying. My driving instructor was there and stud up for me, however to no avail and I still have to take the class.

                Then a glimmer of hope….She told me that there was one this Saturday and that there was still room if I wanted to join. What good news, however when we reached the car my eyes could no longer hold back the tears as I thought about work. I had to work this Saturday and there was no way I could get it off because my boss already had it booked off and the next class wasn’t until the end of October.

Mad about the situation I was in, I kind of shut off. I was grumpy and not a very good person to be around. I tried to hide it for work but I was told to day by my friend that I wasn’t hiding it that good. I have been working to get my license for a while now and everything keeps going wrong.

So I prayed…prayed for help. Prayed to God to enter into my life and send me the holy spirit to guide me. Help me not be this terrible person. Help me to see past this road block and see the good. I talked to my best friend that night and she calmed me down out of tears. She reminded me that God had a plan and I was not meant to take the test that day because if I was then I would have been able to take it. That maybe there is something in that class that I need to know before.

Then I received an email from my loving daddy…

A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile. Send this to a strong person. I just did. God is good. Change is coming. God saw your sadness and said hard times are over.

I sent it to a few people that I think would a appreciate it. I got a astonishing response back, from a wonderful lady that I am lucky to have in my life. She said: Thank you Tamara, this is so thoughtful of you. I don't feel strong, but I am blessed to have lots of people holding me up. Thank you for being one of the people that holds me up. I got a teary eyed reading those words and thanked God for giving me this amazing woman in my life.

Then everything started falling in to place. I got a text mesg from my driving instructor telling me that she will do special classes with me at night so I can get my license sooner! Tears again.

How could I ever think bad things about my life when I have all these wonderful people surrounding me? I was not sure about this journey that I had started to travel on until he showed me the power of love and acceptance this past week. He has a plan for me and I am ready to follow it with all my heart!

The first time I prayed it was weird and I didn’t know what to say. In youth group I would always sing to the songs so loud and that’s how I communicated with Him. So I went to the best blog ever and I checked out her playlist and fell in love with Francesca Battistelli and her amazing voice.

There is this one song that jumped right into my heart and sang to my soul. It’s called I’m letting go and it is what I am going though right now. It feels like I was lead to this song because she wrote it for me.

There is another song on her album that I have listened to about 5 times today, but ill keep you waiting and ill show it to you tomorrow! See you then.

Don’t forget to smile!

57. Finding new music

58. The friends I have in my life and the ones to come

59. unexpected thoughts of kindness

60. Multi grain creamy ranch Pringles