Stressed out...

Do you ever have the feeling that things are never going get done? We have recently moved in to a new house and I just see the boxes and wonder will I ever be done unpacking. It’s hard to imagine it all clean and organized when all you see is kayos. I have just started doing one room at a time, and starting with little projects and then taking a break when there done. That way I am not getting overwhelmed with all the things there is to do.

I always feel that I have to be perfect. I am not sure why but in my mind I think there is always someone I am trying to please. The more I think about it the more it frustrates me and more easily I am distracted. I have been ever stressed out this past month with everything that has changed in my life. In the last little while a lot of things have changed and I am not sure I am coping with the stress of it very well. I mean everything has been awesome and all good things but I think the thing is it’s too much too fast.  New Job {Job of my dreams}, New House {totally an upgrade}, and New Car {awesome on gas} my life has done a 360 on me, in a good way, but my head it still spinning.

Have you ever got so overwhelmed you just want to sit in a corner and cry? That’s how I have been feeling, and for not fault of Skylar’s, I am taking it out on him. I was driving the other day and listening to the radio and he changed the station, and I lost it. I freaked and I have no idea why. I got so frustrated and he changed it back right away but I blew it so out of proportion. I have no idea who this person is I am turning into but I just wish it would stop. I have the best job ever and the world’s greatest boss alive and still I just want to stay home because I am afraid that I will make her not like me. Or do something out of line, it’s not like me to be like this and I have no idea how to fix it or what to do. It’s like I am depressed about something, I have not a clue what it would be, and just can’t fix it. I keep thinking in my head “oh after this it will be better” or “next month it will be fine.”

The more I think about it the more I am beginning to think I know what it is. As I am writing this it’s almost like a light had turned on in my head. Thinking about how I have been acting and so moody towards Skylar. I almost don’t want to say it because this conclusion is very embarrassing. My Weight.

I have been stressing out about it for the past month and it has constantly been on my mind. I have recently tried a new diet and failed. Skylar is back to work now and is dropping the pounds like its nothing. I have been having such a battle with my weight for the past 3 years and have just been gaining and gaining. I am so depressed about my weight I never want to go anywhere. I think it’s the summer bug. Seeing everyone in bathing suits and tank tops and not being able to wear that kind of stuff hurts my heart. I am sure there are lots of people out there with this issue and my same feelings but when you’re in it, you feel so alone.

What a revelation I have just come to…! Now I know where to start…

{I am sorry if this doesn’t make sense to anyone, I write as a think and as my mind changes. I hope you can follow along with my brain waves and understand what I am thinking}